It’s a constant refrain in current society that we spend way too much time being distracted, by new shiny things, by irritations stemming from disruptiveness to our plans, and by our sizing-up comparisons to others. I’m not blaming phones and social media for all these ills, but ALL are readily manifested by that little pensive square in your pocket.
And yes, we all know the importance of “being present” and most recently the trendy appeal toward boredom as an antidote – at least until the next appeal is spawned by voices and images from that little square (ironic, huh?).
So what’s the actual problem here? Unfair question, there are several.
One that has recently caught my attention is that of filling ourselves. Not in a genuinely good Thanksgiving dinner way. And not in an illusory good way of checking items off from our task list: breathing exercise, reading for 15 minutes, going for a walk outside, writing in our gratitude journals for 2 minutes. These CAN BE good ways of filling ourselves, but often they are done in what the existentialists call bad faith. They are the equivalent of lip service and idle words, deluding or being ignorant of ourselves. They hold no substantial meaning and therefore offer no substantial impact.
So, the problem…? Illusion. It’s not real. This filling is just taking up space and offers nothing substantially beneficial for our lives save for a momentary feeling good.
This compounds the problem by adding a short-term mindset – the last thing we need in this culture and counter to meaningfulness. In the last post I gave a quick conceptualizing of what makes meaning; lasting impact was part of it.
Lots of self-help people like to talk about “attention” and “focus.” “Mindfulness.” All decent, but all missing the larger picture of an avoidance of reality. By accepting these task list items as good (in and of themselves) we blindly accept the illusion of what is “good.” From there it’s an easy next step, particularly in this culture, to then maximize the effort through efficiency. How can we do more, do it bigger, do it better? How can I fill my life with these good things? *Again, referencing the last post, where is the discernment?
So what to do? Seek religion. Seriously.
Yea, Nietzsche was right in his warning. And more recently the philosopher Byung-Chul Han has written about ‘things’ our culture and society has lost, leaving a void that we continue to try to fill – in bad faith (my add). Religion is one. Family is another. But what’s offered by these ‘things’ that is actually ‘good’ and not another illusion? I’m not quite sure, yet. But as a precursor, some things to consider are those that allow space. Space is a prerequisite for change. You see, change requires entertaining difference and then using discernment to adopt a difference (in thought, in action).
Space allows the contemplation of difference; otherwise, we just continue as we are. It’s hard to see the river’s current, when you’re in the current.
As a bonus there’s a pretty simple check to determine if you’re emptied: LLB. Are you experiencing being Lost? Lonely? Bored? I stole this from Rolf Potts, and it’s very fitting here. If we’re experiencing any of these, there’s a good chance we’re emptied – at least more empty than full. Because they indicate an openness or room: space that is not possible when we’re filled or in the process of filling. And as a further check, discomfort will usually accompany any of these states. Bear in mind we’re not after ease and comfort here, we’re after meaning. **Again, see the previous post for more.
So as a means toward change and the requirement of space, we benefit from a self-emptying.
The solution isn’t always to add something (breathing practice, gratitude reflection, nature bath). A solution may be subtraction in the sense of sharing (giving of yourself), confession (releasing what thoughts problematically occupy your mind), and suffering (in the minimal sense of doing and being without).
Gee, where do these sound familiar? Religion and Family? Of course those aren’t the only methods to employ this self-emptying, so what are others?