Individual Expectations

Individual Expectations

Part II – What about the individual? The main point here is that in a romantic/life partnership, individual expectations must be based on—or coincide with—relationship expectations.   When expectation conflicts arise, typically the individual expectation...
Relationship Expectations

Relationship Expectations

Expectations in a relationship (romantic, life partner, etc.), specifically misunderstood, misaligned, mis- or non-communicated expectations, are by far the largest contributor to relationship problems. I have no idea if this is empirically correct, but dammit if it...
Efficiency is not Pleasurable

Efficiency is not Pleasurable

We often tout efficiency as the pinnacle guiding principle on the way toward continued human achievement—almost like it’s the only metric that matters. Yes, it can be important, but what about pleasure?   It’s, of course, not a binary situation—efficiency or...
Go Push a Button (analog vs. digital)

Go Push a Button (analog vs. digital)

I often find myself longing for a period between the 1880s and 1950s. Not that I have any actual basis for my romanticizing of this time, but more the ideology of a pre-digital age. A quick Google search confirms that the digital age began in the ’70s. So we can...
Present But Not Available

Present But Not Available

Recently my clinical work has revealed some relationship behavioral patterns that prompted the title of this blog.   It relates to (potential) romantic relationships. I’m old school and so I’m going to refer to men and women and the dynamics between them. I have...